Tag Archives: xmas jokes christmas jokes

The best offensive, controversial and awkward Christmas jokes

Here are some festive jokes that are ruder, more anti-religious and have more sexual content than your average Xmas gags. Ho, ho, ho!

At Christmas, I remember closing my eyes and waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left …

What does a transvestite do for Christmas?

– Eat, drink and be Mary.

When did George Michael die?

– Last Christmas.

Christmas is rubbish.

– Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross.

Why does Santa go in through the chimney?

– Because Mrs Claus said he’d never get in through the back door.

What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

– Santa stopped at three hoes.

Last night, Father Christmas emptied his sack in our room – which is why I’m leaving your mother.

Jesus walks into a hotel with three nails and asks the receptionist: ‘Can you put me up for the night?’

Why are priests like Christmas trees?

– Their little balls are just for decoration.

Here are less offensive – but probably funnier – short Xmas jokes

And here’s how to get excommunicated from the Catholic Church

Merry Christmas again.

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