Here are some festive jokes that are ruder, more anti-religious and have more sexual content than your average Xmas gags. Ho, ho, ho!
At Christmas, I remember closing my eyes and waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left …
What does a transvestite do for Christmas?
– Eat, drink and be Mary.
When did George Michael die?
– Last Christmas.
Christmas is rubbish.
– Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross.
Why does Santa go in through the chimney?
– Because Mrs Claus said he’d never get in through the back door.
What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?
– Santa stopped at three hoes.
Last night, Father Christmas emptied his sack in our room – which is why I’m leaving your mother.
Jesus walks into a hotel with three nails and asks the receptionist: ‘Can you put me up for the night?’
Why are priests like Christmas trees?
– Their little balls are just for decoration.
Here are less offensive – but probably funnier – short Xmas jokes
And here’s how to get excommunicated from the Catholic Church
Merry Christmas again.
