Too much gin can make you tearful – so here’s an antidote. Some funny gin jokes, one-liners and puns – enjoy them with one of the world’s best gins – York Gin

– “I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.” -WC Fields

– There’s a place and a time for gin. My mouth and now.

– Woman: I love you.

Man: Is that you or the gin talking?

Woman: It’s me talking to the gin.

– Don’t cry over spilt milk: it could have been gin.

– My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin. Then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass. – W C Fields

– I drank so much gin last night, I woke up with a London Dry accent.

– I tried to say no to gin, but it’s 42.5% stronger than me.

– “I don’t know what reception I’m at but, for God’s sake, give me a gin and tonic.” – Denis Thatcher

– If at first you don’t succeed, try, try a gin.

– What do you call someone who’s never had a G&T? A virgin.

– What’s the sophisticated drinker’s favourite Xmas carol? Gin-gle bells, gin-gle bells ….

– “Trust me you can dance.” ⁃ Gin

– When life gives you lemons (or limes) make a gin and tonic.

– Save water: drink gin.

– PLEASE DRINK GIN RESPONSIBLY. Don’t spill it.

– “The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.” – Phyllis Diller

– A gin and tonic has 91 calories. A banana has 115 calories. My doctor told me to make the healthy choice. I love my doctor.

– A yawn is a silent scream for gin.

– I want someone to look at me the same way I look at gin.

– Gin and bear it.

– Good friends offer advice. Real friends offer gin.

– Exercise. Walking round the house looking for my glass of gin.

– I didn’t text you. Gin did.

– Sometimes I have a bath because it’s difficult to drink gin in the shower.

– If you can’t remember my name just say ‘Gin’ and I’ll turn around.

– I love you slightly less than gin.

– Gin lovers are better lovers.

– I make gin disappear. What’s your superpower?

– Education is important. But gin is importanter.

– Gin and tonic is the answer … What was the question?

– Gin: because everyone needs a hobby.

– My resting face is also my thinking about gin face.

– Size does matter. No-one wants a small gin and tonic.

– A day without gin is like … I have no idea.

– A woman goes into a bar with a roll of tarmac in her bag. She says: “A large gin and tonic please. And one for the road.”

– You have to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another G&T.

– My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.

– Chemically speaking, gin is a solution.

– I drink gin twice a year. When it’s raining and when it isn’t raining.

– A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a G&T – and a mop.

– Neutron: How much is a G&T?

Bartender: For you – no charge.

– I only drink gin on two occasions. When I’m in love and when I’m not.

– Happiness is finding three olives in your martini when you’re hungry.

– Gin is like a push-up bra for your personality.

– Someone’s been putting tonic in my tonic.

– You should have a warm heart and a cold gin and tonic.

Buy York Gin

York Gin: A classic dry gin was a silver medal winner at the Gin Masters 2018.

York Gin Cocoa: launched on Yorkshire Day (1 August) 2018 and awarded bronze at the World Gin Awards in January 2019.

York Gin Roman Fruit: Read the article which Roman experts Dame Professor Mary Beard and Professor Catharine Edwards helped to edit.

York Gin Outlaw – a Navy Strength gin that’s best served with ice, tonic and care.