Too much gin can make you tearful – so here’s an antidote. Some lovely gin jokes and one-liners to read and share while you’re enjoying an ice cold G&T – I highly recommend you buy and drink the superb York Gin
– “I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.” -WC Fields
– There’s a place and a time for gin. My mouth and now.
– Woman: I love you.
Man: Is that you or the gin talking?
Woman: It’s me talking to the gin.
– Don’t cry over spilt milk: it could have been gin.
– My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin. Then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass. – W C Fields
– I drank so much gin last night, I woke up with a London Dry accent.
– I tried to say no to gin, but it’s 42.5% stronger than me.
– “I don’t know what reception I’m at but, for God’s sake, give me a gin and tonic.” – Denis Thatcher
– If at first you don’t succeed, try, try a gin.
– What do you call someone who’s never had a G&T? A virgin.
– What’s the sophisticated drinker’s favourite Xmas carol? Gin-gle bells, gin-gle bells ….
– “Trust me you can dance.” ⁃ Gin
– When life gives you lemons (or limes) make a gin and tonic.
– Save water: drink gin.
– PLEASE DRINK GIN RESPONSIBLY. Don’t spill it.
– “The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.” – Phyllis Diller
– A gin and tonic has 91 calories. A banana has 115 calories. My doctor told me to make the healthy choice. I love my doctor.
– A yawn is a silent scream for gin.
– I want someone to look at me the same way I look at gin.
– Gin and bear it.
– Good friends offer advice. Real friends offer gin.
– Exercise. Walking round the house looking for my glass of gin.
– I didn’t text you. Gin did.
– Sometimes I have a bath because it’s difficult to drink gin in the shower.
– If you can’t remember my name just say ‘Gin’ and I’ll turn around.
– I love you slightly less than gin.
– Gin lovers are better lovers.
– I make gin disappear. What’s your superpower?
– Education is important. But gin is importanter.
– Gin and tonic is the answer … What was the question?
– Gin: because everyone needs a hobby.
– My resting face is also my thinking about gin face.
– Size does matter. No-one wants a small gin and tonic.
– A day without gin is like … I have no idea.
– A woman goes into a bar with a roll of tarmac in her bag. She says: “A large gin and tonic please. And one for the road.”
– You have to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another G&T.
– My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
– Chemically speaking, gin is a solution.
– I drink gin twice a year. When it’s raining and when it isn’t raining.
– A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a G&T – and a mop.
– Neutron: How much is a G&T?
Bartender: For you – no charge.
– I only drink gin on two occasions. When I’m in love and when I’m not.
– Happiness is finding three olives in your martini when you’re hungry.
– Gin is like a push-up bra for your personality.
– Someone’s been putting tonic in my tonic.
– You should have a warm heart and a cold gin and tonic.
Read about – and buy – York Gin
York Gin: A classic dry gin was a silver medal winner at the Gin Masters 2018.