If you’re confused by the referendum that will decide Britain’s future membership of the European Union, here’s a little guide that will tell you how you should vote.
This guide cuts through the hyperbole on both sides of the argument – it doesn’t mention the threat of war or the Nazis and Hitler. It keeps to the facts, helping you to vote logically and rationally.
Your guide on how you should vote
Go to the polling station and tell the nice man or lady your name and address.
He or she will then give you a card. You should take this card into a little booth and put a cross in the box next to your favourite statement.
The question you will answer is:
Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union?
Here’s your choice of statements:
Remain a member of the European Union
Leave the European Union
Make sure you only choose one – by putting a cross in the box next to your favourite.
Then, you should put the completed card in a box. The box will probably have a slit in the top.
Once that’s done, you should say thank you and bye-bye to the nice man or lady – and leave the polling station.
Finally, once you’re outside, you should go about your day as normal.
If you’re going to be away or incapacitated, you can get a postal vote or a proxy vote. The internet has information about how you should vote in these circumstances.
And that ends my little lesson on how you should vote in the EU referendum.
PS. I’m voting remain because I’m not racist and I am rational.
And if you like a bit of satire, here’s a funny UKIP manifesto I wrote a couple of years ago. It’s scarily true to what that ‘party’ thinks.