Zen and the art of moustache maintenance: 6 ways to keep calm in Movember

The third trimester of Movember approaches apace: moustaches across the world are turning reasonable-looking men into creeps.

And another Movember-based blog is written by an itchy participant.

Growing a moustache for a whole month poses more physical and psychological dangers than you may think. (The actual number of dangers is six – as I wrote earlier in Movember.)

To counter these apparent dangers, I offer a helpful – and spiritual – guide to moustache growing.

As many of my loyal readers know, I’m a fan of the ancient Buddhist practice of mindfulness meditation.

This is a useful practice to help maintain a healthy level of sanity and calm. You basically just try (and keep failing) to concentrate on your breath as you sit quietly.

Now, there are several attitudes that underpin the practice of mindfulness meditation.

And, strangely enough, you can use these attitudes to help you relish the third trimester of Movember.

Here’s how:

1. Non-judging
It’s easy to fall into the trap of judging your moustache. Comments such as these are common during Movember:

‘It has major gaps in it that mean I look like a freak.’

‘It’s really ginger – and my hair has never been ginger. How unfair is that?’
‘It makes me look like someone on the Sex Offenders’ Register.’

Much better not to look in the mirror, so you’re not tempted to complain about your appearance during the month.

2. Patience
Growing a moustache doesn’t happen overnight – it’s not like a Botox jab or teeth-whitening procedure.
In fact for most of us, nothing really grows for some time.
If you didn’t practise patience you could become annoyed with people constantly asking:
‘I thought you were doing Movember this year.’

3. Trust

Peter Mandelson relaxing next to a mirror with his moustache.

Peter Mandelson relaxing next to a mirror with his moustache.

Trusting that your partner won’t finish your relationship on the grounds that you look like you’re on the Sex Offenders’ Register is vital if you’re going to relax into Movember.

4. Non-striving
Dousing hair-growing lotion on your top lip does not speed growth. Don’t strive for this result.

5. Acceptance
Accepting whatever grows – or doesn’t grow – is your only option during Movember, unless you want to invest in a top lip toupee. You know the right answer here.

6. Letting go

Einstein kept his moustache after the end of Movember. You don't have to.

Einstein kept his moustache after the end of Movember. You don’t have to.

And when you reach midnight on 30 November, you can watch the bristles disappear down the plug-hole without an ounce of regret.

Feeling all relaxed and in tune with humanity now?  You can sponsor my moustache here. Thank you!

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And you can follow me @simlington on Twitter
Copyright simlington 2014

 

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