by Simon Henry @simlington
It’s hard these days for young people to find a job that pays more than the generous £2.50 an hour Apprentice Rate.
We all know someone who’s a bit ‘special’ – who needs that little bit of help to navigate the yawning chasm between childhood and getting a bloody job.
So here’s a Young Person’s Guide To Getting A Job (That Pays Over £2.50 An Hour).
1. Try to clean up your social media accounts. Employers accept that young people need to have fun, but if they see pictures and videos of you puking, having intercourse or smoking dope they may discount your application. (Unfair as that may seem.)
2. If you get a LinkedIn account, don’t post nude pictures, foul-mouthed rants or links to cats doing stupid things.
3. Get other people to check the CV and emails you send to potential employers. You may not care about apostrophe’s, speling and grammer. But others do.
4. Don’t check yourself in at the start of the interview.
5. Don’t ask your interviewer out – even if you really fancy them.
6. Don’t fart – even worse, don’t blame it on your interviewer.
7. Don’t smoke – smoking weed is marginally worse than tobacco but they’re both liable to get you thrown out.
8. Make sure your phone’s on silent or turned off. Don’t answer it – even if it’s your mum.
9. Underpants, piercings and tattoos may be your social currency – but they upset interviewers. Cover them up. And while you’re at it, chuck that gum in the bin.
10. If this all sounds a bit hard, you can always try your luck on Britain’s Got Talent, join the circus or join the Liberal Democrats.
If you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my post about why Failure is often better than success. Or just have a browse around – there should be something that makes you a bit happier.
You can get an email alert whenever I publish a new post. If you’re on a mobile you can sign up below. If you’re on a computer, sign up at the top right-hand of the page.
And you can follow me @simlington on Twitter
Copyright Simon Henry @simlington 2014