by Simon Henry @simlington
Fact: If you use Facebook, your self esteem is directly proportional to the number of Likes your updates get.
Ricky Gervais gets 3,000 Likes for the daily selfies of his face in the bath.
So even though he looks pretty bad on these photos, he’s happy – because he gets loads of Likes.
Most of us are lucky to hit double figures of Likes – even if we announce news of our impending divorce, a graphic description of our vasectomy or a well-reasoned criticism of Vladimir Putin’s homophobia.
Don’t worry – here’s how you get more Likes, and improve your happiness:
1. Take the LinkedIn approach to ‘friendship’ – befriend everyone you possibly can, even if you’ve never met them and/or hate them. You can always hide their awful, irrelevant status updates from your Newsfeed.
They may end up being a really useful and loyal liker.
2. Like loads of other people’s stuff. Even if it’s complete bilge. Some people will reciprocate your likes. But remember to hide them from your Newsfeed.
3. Try to create an emotional response in your readers. Pictures of really cute kittens are more likely to produce a Like than ‘Late for work because of roadworks. Again.’
4. If you have kids, mercilessly use pictures and updates about them – however trite.
You probably have friends with kids and they’ll Like your updates in the expectation of a reciprocal Like for theirs. (See 2.)
5. Don’t tell your friends to Like or Share with the threat of going to hell, having 7 days of bad luck or any other crap if you don’t.
(Unless you’re into that sort of nonsense too. In which case, you don’t deserve any Likes.)
6. Make sure things like your birthday reminders don’t appear on your friends’ Newsfeeds. I guarantee they’ll Dislike this.
7. Or you could just have therapy.
If you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my post about why Failure is often better than success. Or just have a browse around – there should be something that makes you a bit happier.
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Copyright Simon Henry @simlington 2014